Becoming Free

I started waking up every morning with a craving for the color blue. Looking at the sea or sky, or wearing blue clothes didn't satisfy me. Though I hadn't painted for many years, it felt like a thirst that could only be quenched by brushing blue paint onto an open field. I found a large piece of masonite in the garage, gessoed it white, bought a variety of blues, and the next morning (still in my nightie) propped it against the fireplace and began slowly and ecstatically brushing blue oil paint onto it.

I didn't try to understand or make sense of what I was doing... I simply loved doing it. I blended blue onto the vast space for many hours, experiencing everything in the world going on with each stroke. The next morning I returned to this delicious task, and by that night had finished the painting-completely blue! The subtle shades and textures expressed it all. I felt the rapture of 'blue-sky mind' whenever I gazed into it..

After several weeks, my husband suggested that it might be more interesting to look at if there were something else besides blue. Oh yes... of course. Soon I began depicting the constructed world emerging on the right side with hints of straight-edged cultivated fields and factories. I imagined structured mental and physical systems from political ideas to industrial products. Beginning at the upper right and painting down, distinct and brilliant colors degraded to sooty grays.

Once again I was satisfied with the painting, having no idea what might happen next, if anything. Then surprisingly - boom! A huge burst of wild aliveness spilled out at the upper left, flinging itself into the open space. Black and white yin yangs gave birth to a full spectrum of spontaneity.

In the vast blue-sky emptiness of awareness, these two minds meet.

Back Becoming Free Next